Secret Emotions
by NiimuraYume
Summary: Daniel thinks. A lot. About his life. About his love. About Jack... YAOI ahead
1. Default Chapter

Stargate SG-1

****

By White Angel

Secret emotions

This was torture. 

He was standing so close to him but still couldn't touch him. Not the way he wanted anyway.

He sighed mentally before walking after the rest of SG-1 through the Stargate off to another world. 

He left the horizon and bumped into someone, tensing as he recognized Jack as the person. He backed off quickly, exchanging a quick glance with the Colonel.

"All right, let's move. Anybody have any idea where we should go from here?"

Only now did he take in his surroundings, seeing trees, a lot of trees, all around the Stargate, no sign of any civilization. 

He shook his head and frowned, hoping to be back home soon. He had always been keen on visiting new worlds, studying new civilizations but for a while now he only thought of being home, together with the man he loved.

He was not ashamed of him or of having a male lover and neither did Jack but it would harm the military's career. He didn't want that.

Giving into the emotions had been hard enough. He didn't want to be the reason for Jack to loose his job.

He still remembered their first encounter as if it had been yesterday…

… It had been a hot day under earth deep inside the Cheyenne Mountain. The air conditioning was off and everyone suffered under the heat. Everyone except to Daniel.

"how do you manage to not even start to sweat at these temperatures?" Jack asked sarcastically, whipping a thin layer of sweat off his own forehead.

"You try living on Abydos for 2 years. If you call this hot you would die on a summer day there." Daniel grinned slightly.

"Yeah, but if I did, how could I survive a winter day back here on the good old earth?" Jack grinned back triumphantly. He knew he had won. Daniel could see it in his eyes.

He sighed and took off his glasses, cleaning them and rubbing his eyes at the same time.

"What shall we do? Until the power's back up we're trapped in here."

"I know. Well, I don't… uh…"

"I got it."

/You have no idea./ Daniel knew exactly what he wanted to do. But he couldn't tell Jack O'Neal that of all things he wanted most to jump him, ravishing his mouth, having his hands roam over the older man's strong body, feeling every inch of his skin touch his… /Oh, Stop it, Danny! This is never going to happen./

"Hey, Space Monkey, where are you?"

"Just thinking." /of you/ he silently added, feeling a heat build in his lower body that he couldn't deny. He had to get his thoughts off the man. Good joke, considering said man standing in front of him in not more than shorts and a vest in dark, military green, sweat trickling down his chest, soaking the clothes… /Jackson! Pull yourself together!/ a voice inside his head screamed. Another voice, not as much as a whisper, but still much clearer in his mind, told him to go for it, take the risk and see what the future might bring. /Tell him/

Daniel shook his head, his whole being now centered about that one thought, that one man, standing in the middle of his office, his skin glowing in the dim light of the little electricity they had from the spare generator, just giving enough energy for the Iris and to lighten up the most important parts of the mountain.

"You drifting off again?" Jacks voice slowly pulled him back to reality. It always did. When Jack called he would listen. At least part of him would always respond to that voice, his tone imprinted on his mind.

He blinked several times before looking up at Jack, hoping to hide the fact that he wanted, that he loved the man in front of him.

The desire must have been visible in his eyes because Jack started to slowly approach him, step by step inching closer until his face was only inches away from his own. Daniel held his breath, not wanting to hope but feeling it non the less.

He felt the breath of the other man hot on his face, afraid Jack would come to his senses and back off, leave him behind and never coming back.

But he didn't.

He didn't leave, but instead took Daniel's face in his hands, gently pressing his lips against Daniel's, only brushing it really, without any pressure.

When Daniel reopened his eyes he looked into the depth of two brown glowing orbs which were Jack's eyes, seeing the same desire in them that he felt deep inside but also there was fear, of what  Daniel could only guess.

"Danny, I…" Jack trailed off as a caressing finger on his lips stopped him. A little smile tugged on Daniel's lips when he leaned forward, capturing Jack's lips with his, tasting him, feeling him respond, begging for entry with his tongue. Jack complied, parting his lips, inviting him in, letting him explore his warm depths. In return he thrust his own tongue into Daniel's mouth, starting an exploration of his own. 

When they finally parted, both of them short of breath, they looked at each other seriously. 

Daniel opened his mouth but was silenced by Jack's loving finger on his lips.

"This could be dangerous. If anyone finds out…"

"I know…" Daniel kissed the tip of Jack's finger, caressing it slightly with his tongue. "I don't care. If you do though…" he turned away, ready to leave though it was his office they were in.

Jack reached out, grabbed the younger man's arm and yanked him around. "All I'm saying is that we have to be careful. I don't want this to end before it even started. I hid this way too long already."

Daniel saw the sincere look in his eyes. There also was a pleading in those brown orbs. /Don't leave me. Please don't leave me…/

He wouldn't. He couldn't even if he wanted to. He wanted to crawl under this man's skin, feeling him whole, not just physically but mentally as well. He loved this man, had loved him for so long he couldn't remember it any other way. And he didn't want to either.

"If you don't want me to leave, I won't. Ever." Daniel fell into Jack's embrace, whose strong arms closed around his smaller form, and he thought how perfect it felt. It felt right. How could something that felt so right be wrong? Their bodies fitted just perfectly, pressed against each other as they were, Daniel had never felt like this before. Not even with Sha're.

He sighed and reluctantly the two lovers parted, hands clasped together even as they stood apart, not wanting to let go completely. Not yet. Not ever…

… "Daniel! Danny!" he jolted back to reality at his nickname. The nickname only one person called him by. His Jack.

He blinked before realizing where he was.

"You back?" he heard concern in that voice and, looking up at his face, seeing it as well.

"Yeah, sorry. What…"

"You were gone for I don't know how long. You followed us all the time. I bet you didn't see anything from this world, right?" Jack smirked at him, eyes sparkling with both, amusement and concern.

"No, I guess not." He murmured, checking out his feet before taking a good look around. They were back at the Stargate, obviously there hadn't been anything important. He checked his watch, seeing that 2 hours had passed since they had arrived there. 

And now they were already going back. Back to earth, back home, back to being lovers, not colleagues.

He craved for that. He desperately needed those arms wrapped around him, holding him, caressing him. In those arms he felt safe, protected, something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"Danny, Danny, stay with us. What is wrong with you today? You're always drifting apart."

"I'm sorry. I'm a little tired. Won't happen again." Daniel mumbled a reply, waiting to get back home.

"If you wanne rest you need to dial us home…" he heard the restraint voice of his friend, knowing he was close to the boiling point, which, if it hadn't been him would have been miles ago.

He didn't reply as he pushed the symbols, opening the gateway home…

…He was laying in his lover's arms. Finally.

Now he could relax into what he had craved for all day.

"Danny?" Jack asked sleepily, "What was it with you all day?"

Daniel looked at the other man questioningly. 

"It was not the loss of sleep. You had plenty of that lately."

Daniel winced at the memory of Jack's bandaged torso, all the painkillers he had gotten and that he even had been off duty for a couple of weeks. Weeks, in which he hadn't been able to be there 24/7 because of the job. If he had taken time off during Jack's injury that could have caused rumors. They had been having the same opinion on that subject.

"No, it wasn't the loss of sleep." He gently kissed Jack, never wanting to let go but when he finally did he went on "actually I had to think about our first encounter. And I was looking forward to this." He motioned at them, their naked bodies entwined on the bed, skin against heated skin, the tender feeling of love between them, openly exposed and not hidden anymore by the uniforms.

Jack kissed the tip of his nose, pulling him closer, as if making sure he never left him.

"I love you, Space Monkey."

"I love you, too, Colonel. Sir!"

They grinned and fell against each other, content in the knowledge of having each other, quickly falling asleep, into sweet oblivion until the next day which would be like so many before and so many to follow.

The END   


	2. Deja vu

Thanks to the reviews you guys gave me I shut off my brain by accident. This is the result. Part 2 of a one-parter O_o Anyway, this story might get twisted because I don't want to make this one a threesome (not this one ) so I had to find a way of writing this without getting irrational. So I will be working with dreams, flashbacks and other weird stuff I come across while writing this.  
  
" yada yada yada" =direct speech  
  
/bubble bubble bubble/ = thoughts  
  
`blablabla......' beginning of memory etc `......blablabla' end of memory  
  
Did anyone actually understand that?  
  
Secret Emotions pt. 2  
  
By White Angel  
  
He was running.  
  
He had to get to the DHD.  
  
He had to safe Jack.  
  
All around him the world seemed to explode.  
  
He dove for cover behind the Dialing Home Device, waiting for a quiet period to dial without dieing. When he felt it was as safe as it could get he stood, frantically punching the symbols on the device. When the Gate began to move he turned only to see Jack flying towards him, landing hard on his back mere meters from the DHD and from him.  
  
Daniel ran for his Colonel and upon falling to his knees at his side he saw the giant gap in the other's dark green military uniform, blood staining the rim a dark crimson.  
  
/Again! It is happening again!/  
  
Daniel's eyes widened and he tried to check on the injury when Jack's hand touched his cheek, smearing blood on his skin. Daniel wrapped the hand in his own, holding on tight to the weak grasp of his lover.  
  
"D-danny... I..." Daniel cradled the older man in his arms, held on tight and scanned the area for the others. Upon seeing Teal'c he shouted for the tall warrior, tears stinging in his eyes as he rocked the body in his arms.  
  
"Jack. Jack... please Jack, hold on..... we'll be home soon..... please hold on.... I love you....." he whispered desperately into the Colonel's ear, feeling the body going limp in his arms.  
  
Teal'c was at his side, trying to get him to release the unconcious form to carry him through the Event Horizon. Daniel was close behind. He felt numb. The gunfire behind him was just a blur at the corner of his vision. His thoughts centered only around his lover, who was being carried by the Jaffa before him.  
  
Sam was hurrying in behind them and when the Event Horizon closed Dr. Fraiser was there to take over.  
  
She went to work right away, tending to Jack's wounds.  
  
He was being brought to the infirmary and Daniel wanted to follow but Teal'c stopped him with one strong hand on his shoulder.  
  
General Hammond entered the gate-room and ordered them for a debriefing within the next 5 minutes.  
  
Daniel was desperate to check on Jack but the older man would not like it if he was that obvious. He was supposed to be only a friend so he followed the General into the debriefing room, shoulders slumped, head hanging to hide the painful sting of tears in his eyes.  
  
He swore he wouldn't leave the base before checking for the injured man who was being operated right then.  
  
Tbc...  
  
I'm an ass, ne? Okay, now you folks have a problem. Hen I write a oneshot it usually is all fluffy and thoughtful... but when there comes a second part it usually gets angsty Then again, maybe that's what you want?  
  
But look what you made me do!!!!  
  
Now they are suffering because I can't be stopped now BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
No, seriously.  
  
Review please so I can write faster 


End file.
